What happens when suffering shapes your picture of God?
For Paul Snyder, the God he rejected as a young boy seemed harsh, distant, and impossible to please. Growing up amid fear, family brokenness, rejection, and disappointment, he concluded that if God existed at all, He certainly wasn’t good.
By the age of twelve, Paul had reached a point of despair. Filled with anger and skepticism, he did something many people secretly feel but rarely admit. He challenged God directly.What happened next changed everything.
Paul shares how an unexpected encounter with the love of Christ transformed his understanding of God and set him on a lifelong journey of faith and service.
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Guest Bio:
Paul Snyder is the president of Global Bridges, an international ministry serving persecuted believers, vulnerable children, and marginalized communities in some of the world’s most restricted nations. Continuing a legacy of gospel ministry that spans generations, Paul is passionate about demonstrating the love of Christ through practical compassion and humanitarian aid. He is also the co-author of Love Shines, a book highlighting the importance of Scripture and the extraordinary story behind the ministry’s work among persecuted Christians around the world. Once an atheist shaped by suffering and disappointment, Paul now dedicates his life to helping others encounter the hope and love he found in Jesus.
Resources Mentioned:
eX-skeptic Guides: https://exskeptic.org/bookstore/
- Book: Love Shines: From Smuggling Bibles to Training a Million Disciples; https://globalbridgesrelief.org/loveshines/
- Global Bridges – International ministry serving persecuted believers and vulnerable communities: https://globalbridgesrelief.org/
- Open Doors (founded by Brother Andrew)
- Ethnos360 (formerly New Tribes Mission)
- YWAM (Youth With A Mission)
Chapters
00:00 Paul’s “Liquid Love” Encounter
00:54 If God Is Good, Why Do We Suffer?
02:00 Serving the Persecuted with Global Bridges
04:48 A Family Legacy of Faith
09:25 From Smuggling Bibles to Smuggling Drugs
11:41 How His Father Shaped His View of God
15:33 “God Was Like Santa Claus”
16:49 Paul Reaches a Point of Despair
19:21 He Challenges God to Prove He’s Real
19:47 “Liquid Love” Poured Over Him
20:23 God Says, “I Love You”
21:36 Jesus Is More Than a Philosophy
23:01 Discovering God Through the Bible
26:05 Why Scripture Matters
27:18 If God Is Good, Why Is There Suffering?
30:18 Escaping Performance-Based Christianity
34:44 Is God Supposed to Stop All Suffering?
36:02 Do You Need a Dramatic Encounter with God?
39:01 Where Should a Skeptic Start?
41:00 How Christians Should Engage with Skeptics
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eX-skeptic Transcript
Ep. 153
September 11, 2026
Paul’s “Liquid Love” Encounter
PAUL SNYDER: As I turned around. I can’t explain it other than, um. It was like liquid love poured. Poured out of heaven. It felt like warm oil. Like just from the top of my head, all the way down to my feet. Just literally it was it was it was tangible. It was something that was. And it was also more real than anything I can ever describe to anyone.
It was way more real than you. It was way more real than concrete. It was it was just the definition of reality.
But it was love. And God spoke to me, not audibly, but I just I don’t know how he did it, but he I just heard him say, I love you.
If God Is Good, Why Do We Suffer?
JANA HARMON: Hello and welcome to eX-skeptic, where we share unlikely stories of belief from former atheists and skeptics. I’m your host, Jana Harmon. What happens when suffering shapes your view of God, and the picture you’re given doesn’t look good. For Paul Snyder, that question began early. Growing up in a home marked by fear, brokenness, and deep disappointment.
He came to believe that if God existed at all, he wasn’t good. But in a moment of raw honesty filled with anger, doubt, and even defiance. Paul did something many people feel but rarely admit. He challenged God directly. What followed was not what he expected. In this episode, you’ll hear how that moment changed everything, and how Paul’s story speaks to one of the most difficult and deeply personal questions we all face.
If God is good. Why do we suffer? I hope you’ll come along to hear Paul’s compelling story.
Welcome to eX-skeptic Paul. It’s great to have you with me today.
PAUL SNYDER: Thank you. Thanks for having me.
Serving the Persecuted with Global Bridges
JANA HARMON: I would love for our listeners to know a bit about you, about the kind of work and ministry you’re involved in, and even the new book that you’ve just published.
PAUL SNYDER: Thank you. Yeah. So, I am the president of an organization called Global Bridges and Global Bridges was founded in 1998. We work in some of the most restricted and difficult nations on Earth, where we kind of are the hands and feet of Jesus showing love and compassion to people who are literally, uh, persecuted, persecuted believers, but people who aren’t even believers, people who are starving, orphans who’ve been abandoned, kids who have disabilities, who are minorities in nations where it’s not good to be a minority.
So, um, the work of Global bridges is really kind of the heart cry is to just show, uh, show, show them who Jesus is through practical, loving ways. So that’s pretty much what we do. And we just wrote a book just released called Love Shines, and it’s, uh, the story of our founder. And this book is all about really the Bible, the importance of the Bible.
It’s, it really gets into, like, why in some of these restricted nations, why do they, the first thing they do is they ban the Bible. Uh, it’s because of, uh, really, I think the first commandment, you shall have no other gods before me. And in communism, the state wants to be God. And so, if the Bible comes and says, look, there’s morality, there’s God.
It brings accountability. And, uh, these, these nations where they’re dictators, they don’t want to have accountability. So, it’s kind of the first thing that goes.
JANA HARMON: It sounds like you have a very powerful ministry ministering to the least and the lost, it sounds like. And the persecuted. Uh, yeah. Yeah, that that’s you’re going to the hard places. I appreciate the profound work that that you’re doing. And I hope and pray that many people will pick up this book.
Love shines to get a sense of what it is that you’re doing and why people are willing to suffer for the Bible and for Christianity. Yeah. So, let’s get into your story. I had the privilege of meeting you not long ago and found out that you were a former atheist, and I thought, and you told me your story, and I thought, okay, we’ve got to have you to tell your story on eX-skeptic.
So why don’t we begin at the beginning, Paul? And, yeah. Introduce us to your family life as a child. Where did you grow up? Uh, was there religion in your home? Was the Bible, you know. How was the Bible esteemed in your home? Your home at all? Tell us about that.
A Family Legacy of Faith
PAUL SNYDER: Yeah. So let me let me go back. Actually, a couple generations to start. My great grandparents on my mom’s side were just incredibly godly people. They were very wealthy people. Um, and they used their wealth basically to propagate the gospel. And so, my, my great grandfather, he, uh, in 1929, when the stock market crashed, the bank lost all of his money. And instead of giving him his cash back, they gave him the mortgages on all these ranches, farms, houses, you know, all this stuff.
So, he actually became. This is kind of an unheard of story. He became more wealthy because of the depression than he was before it. Um, and but, but the thing is, is that God really used that because, uh, so his daughter. So, he had three daughters. One of them was my grandmother on my mom’s side. And whenever one of them would get married, he would give them what was in today’s terms about the equivalent of about $1 million in cash, plus a bunch of land and houses and things.
And so, um, one of my great aunts, who I was actually really close to growing up because all my grandparents except for one, died when I was five. But my great aunt, who was my great grandfather’s daughter, I was really close to her. She was really more like a grandmother than anything. And she and her husband started an organization called New Tribes Mission in 1942.
Today it’s known as ethnos 360. They were a family that was really serious about the gospel, um, very loving family and but so, so here’s what happens though, with wealth. Okay. Wealth makes for itself wings. Okay. Like the Bible says. Um. And my, uh. I’m pretty sure that my grandfather, my grandfather on my mom’s side. I’m pretty sure he married my grandmother for her money. He was apparently just a very ungodly man.
And he grew up in a situation where he was surrounded by these godly people. And I don’t know, like, I don’t know if it was just rebellion on his part. If he was maybe like the black sheep of the family, that’s who. That’s who she married.
JANA HARMON: That’s who she married.
PAUL SNYDER: That’s who she married. And he ended up actually. Uh, this was back in the day that women really had no rights. Okay. He basically divorced her and took pretty much all of her money, and that was that. So, um. I guess I guess the reason I’m sharing that is because years later, the Lord really spoke to me about kind of picking up, raising up, you know, rebuilding the ancient ruins, like going back and kind of raising up what had been kind of just started, you know, in many ways kind of just left in the dust.
And so, um, so that brings me basically to my own family. You know, so when I was a, when I was a child. So, when my dad’s side, he also came from a really godly family. And his dad, they weren’t they weren’t wealthy. They were actually very poor. But his so his dad was a blacksmith, and he did that so that he could plant churches like he would he would blacksmith to support himself and support the family.
And he would plant churches in Montana. Edwards, Montana is where I grew up, but he, um, my dad in some ways, I think was also a little bit of a black sheep in his family. I don’t know, um, I so I hear stories. I my, my dad’s best friend from when he was young tells me that my dad really had an amazing walk with the Lord and had an incredible, uh, relationship with God, he says. And I can, you know, I can see how that could be true because my parents.
From Smuggling Bibles to Smuggling Drugs
PAUL SNYDER: So, this Bible, this Bible, in this, this book we talk about, um, Leland Parrish, the founder of Global Bridges and how he worked with Brother Andrew, God smuggler, back in the early 70s. And my parents actually did the same thing. They smuggled Bibles behind the Iron Curtain with brother Andrew. And my dad was a, um, I guess at the time really serious about his faith.
But after they did that, they did that for about two years. And after they did that, they decided it was time they wanted to start a family. My parents did. So, they came and started a family. My sister was born about 17 months before I was, and by the time I was born, my dad seemed to have become fully backslidden. If that’s possible. Um, his friend says that he. So, he had a business. Okay. At the time we lived in Texas. He had business. And his friend says that he basically, um, was threatened by these people. They wanted to use his business as a front to run drugs through. And they knew that he knew how to smuggle because he had smuggled Bibles.
But his friend was actually a cop. And he got my dad to start. Um, what’s the word? Basically, informing on these guys and what his. So, what my dad’s friend tells me is that he says your dad didn’t want to do this, but they were threatening me and threatening my sister. You know, like, we’ll kill your kids, basically, kind of thing and all these threats and, um, so according to him, he was forced into it, and he would use his plane to smuggle drugs from Mexico across the border.
And, um, you know, I just don’t know if he. According to according to his friend, his friend says that he was very, um, just felt really guilty and could never forgive himself, you know, for the things that he got into, because, I mean, you know, you go from smuggling Bibles and, uh, to smuggling drugs.
JANA HARMON: Smuggling drugs. Yes.
How His Father Shaped His View of God
PAUL SNYDER: And it’s pretty dramatic. You know, it’s kind of funny how people can have a relationship with the Lord, and then they can kind of fall away. And he did come back in later years to the Lord. But he had many years of, I think, feeling really guilty. And, um, because of that, I think he was pretty miserable.
And because of that, he kind of made me miserable. And so, by the time I and there’s I’ll circle back to another part of that story. But by the time I was maybe ten, 11 years old, I didn’t believe in God, because the God that my dad kind of exhibited to me was the kind of God who was just kind of always watching for you to do something wrong so he could chastise you, come down hard on you.
And there was no, you know, he didn’t do anything that was like physically abusive or anything like that. But what he did was he would just it was kind of verbal abuse, frankly. I mean, but constantly. You know, I could never do anything right. Kind of thing. And so, um, I just kind of get this. I just get this idea of, God, that’s like, boy, if God is real, then he sure is awful. You know.
JANA HARMON: Like your father.
PAUL SNYDER: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so, yeah, I mean, I think, I think kids so often have a view of God according to who they, how their father’s been to them. Yes. You know, that’s right or wrong. That’s just kind of a reality.
JANA HARMON: Um, but your mother was still a believer at that time. And, I mean, was she active in her faith? And despite of what was happening with your father.
PAIL SNYDER: She was she was very active in her faith. She really prayed a lot. Um, there’s stuff that I just I don’t understand because I’m like. She basically, I think I think that when you’re going through a situation where your husband is smuggling drugs, and he actually did worse than that. Like he. He actually when I at the time I was born. He had moved in with another woman.
And so, my mom was just going through and maybe it was just after I was, I don’t know, I don’t know when it was, but basically my mom was just going through hell on earth, you know. And she had, she grew up in a rough home because of her dad, who bizarrely came from this amazing family. But apparently, he married my grandmother for her money. Where I’m trying to go with this is that my. I grew up in this situation where I just saw God as somebody who could just not be pleased and, um, just kind of a tyrant.
JANA HARMON: Well, that sounds like, yes, you did suffer greatly. I mean, what? I think you.
PAUL SNYDER: Well, it’s funny.
JANA HARMON: Yeah, you encapsulated it. Well, I mean, with just living in fear. I mean, for a child. Yeah. And living in constant fear, either from outsiders, people outside your home who might harm or even inside your home with a father who was not safe. Um.
PAUL SNYDER: Well, he was just he was he was a jerk. He was just. You could just never please the man, you know. In perspective, I don’t think that I really went through that much, but, um, you know, we all kind of just. We only have our own small world, however small or big it is to compare things by, you know. So, at the time I thought I was suffering greatly, but I really knowing what I know now really wasn’t so.
JANA HARMON: But in your mind, you said around age 10 or 11 you rejected the possibility of there being perhaps a good God in light of your circumstances. Is that fair?
“God Was Like Santa Claus”
PAUL SNYDER: Well, I’ll tell you what I did. Yeah. Yes. That’s fair. So, I, I basically thought that God was like Santa Claus, just a myth. I didn’t think he was good like Santa Claus. Like if he was real. I thought I thought, well, if God is real, he’s not. He’s not. I mean, Santa Claus isn’t real, but it would be better if there was. If God was Santa Claus, you know? Then if. Because at least he’d be good, you know?
Um, but I thought he’s not real. And so, here’s what I, so, here’s what happened. I went through this time. You know, I guess I was this was before puberty, I’m sure, but it was probably just right at that stage. You know, kids get really emotional, and I basically, um, became suicidal. And I’m looking back, I’m like, why was I suicidal? Like, nothing was happening to me that should have made me suicidal, but I just, um, I was.
And I remember one night, you know, I had a I think this is, I had a fight with my dad, you know, over something. I don’t know what it was, but he just like you, could never get any empathy out of the man for anything. And, um. I remember one night. So, this is this is what this is when I met the Lord.
Paul Reaches a Point of Despair
And, um. I remember one night. So, this is this is what this is when I met the Lord. I’m outside this. It’s Montana, and it’s like a cold January night. There are, there’s snow on the ground. It’s kind of a crystal clear sky. Stars are out, very cold. And I was really upset. And I looked up to the heavens. I looked up to, uh, the stars, and I basically cussed God out. Now I learned how to cuss at school, and that was not allowed in my house.
We did. They did other things, but not cussing, you know what I’m saying? Um, but I cuss God out I literally I, I said, “if you’re real, then you are. Then you are a blankety blank blank SOB. Blankety blank. Blank blank blank.” And I said, “if you, um.” I was thinking, you know, because the whole threat was, well, if you die without Christ, you’re going to go to hell.
And that’s kind of what kept me from that’s what had kept me from killing myself, was I just thought, well, just on the chance that this is true, I don’t want to go to hell, you know? And so, I didn’t do it, but, um, but this night I was going to do it, and my thing was, “okay, God, if you’re real, then, um, show me that you’re real.”
Uh. And if you don’t, you know, I mean, I’m like a I don’t know, maybe I was 12 or something. Little kid telling God, basically. Hey, Bucko. Go tell. You know, kind of making an ultimatum to God, which. Don’t try this at home. I wouldn’t try this home. Um, you know, don’t do that. It’s just stupid, but basically, that’s what I did. I just I cussed him out and said, look, if you’re real, you’re horrible. And if you’re not real, oh, well, I’ll just be gone. I’ll just, you know, and I think that I dealt with a lot of rejection, even from my mom, you know, I mean, just the whole thing of, um, her wanting to abort me.
I think that that kind of planted some real seeds of rejection. Um, but, you know, I’m just looking back on her life, and I’m just, you know, I. I can have empathy now, whereas I couldn’t before, but I but now I can because she really had a hard life because of the things she went with her. She went through with her own dad and then with my dad. And I think she just wanted out, you know? Um, so.
He Challenges God to Prove He’s Real
But here I am this cold winter night, cussing at God and threatening him that I’m going to kill myself if he doesn’t show me that he’s real. And so, I’m looking up at the heavens. Nothing happens. I cuss him out, I say this, nothing happens. So, I’m like, yeah, that’s what I thought. I turned around to go kill myself as I turned around.
“Liquid Love” Poured Over Him
I can’t explain it other than, um. It was like liquid love poured. Poured out of heaven. It felt like warm oil. Like just from the top of my head, all the way down to my feet. Just literally, it was. It was. It was tangible. It was something that was. And it was also more real than anything I can ever describe to anyone.
It was way more real than you. It was way more real than concrete. It was it was just the definition of reality.
God Says, “I Love You”
But it was love. And God spoke to me, not audibly, but I just I don’t know how he did it, but he. I just heard him say, “I love you”. And it was it was just I mean, it was it was just instantly I go from a little atheist who doesn’t even really know what the word means, that you know, that much to, I’ve just met the God of the universe in the most real way to me that I could meet him. And I knew it was funny because I knew it was Jesus, even though I had heard about Jesus. And I just thought, you know. Well. What I ended up thinking later was the people that I knew who were talking about Jesus. I’m like, I don’t know what Jesus you’ve met, but you haven’t met him. You haven’t met the Jesus that I’ve met. And so anyway, so that from that point in my life.
JANA HARMON: How could they know that? How could they know that the Jesus that you had met was different than the one that they supposedly professed belief in.
Jesus Is More Than a Philosophy
PAUL SNYDER: I, you know I, that’s a good question because so what I what my experience is, is that Jesus Christ is not a philosophy. Okay. There’s a Christian philosophy that’s good. There’s there are Christian principles that are good, but and the Bible is good. You know, the Bible’s important, but it’s like the map to the destination.
And this is what he said to the Pharisees. You search the scriptures because you think that in them. I’m going to misquote it. But basically, basically you think that you’ll find me in them. But he said, but they testify of me. Or do you think in them you have life, but they testify of me. And, um, so that’s just the thing. Like, you have to have an encounter with Jesus and there’s, you know, nobody can force that.
Nobody. I mean, I just, I just I’ve got to tell you, I mean, I just thank God for his mercy. I didn’t deserve for him to do that for me. Um, I wouldn’t I don’t suggest anybody make an ultimatum to God like I did. I think that’s very foolish. But he just had mercy on me. He had compassion on me. And so, um, but they, I guess, I guess what, um, what I came to understand was he’s just so much different from so much dogma.
Discovering God Through the Bible
I believe in sound theology. I believe in that stuff. That’s important stuff. But if you don’t have an experience with Jesus, you just don’t know him. So, from that day forward, I would literally spend where other you know, when I went into being a teenager, other kids were, you know, playing video games. You know that at that point there was like Atari and stuff like Nintendo came out. Things like that. But, um, I was reading the Bible. I read the Bible many, many times. I couldn’t get enough of the Bible. I prayed for hours, usually every day, just kind of fellowshipping with the Lord.
And I remember, you know, the one time the Lord speaking really clearly to me out of Psalms, when my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up. And that’s just kind of what he did. Just kind of what he did. Um, I don’t mean that disrespectfully to my parents. I think that, um, my mom for sure was doing the best she could. Uh, I don’t think that she meant to, uh, reject me, you know, the way she did. But, um. Anyway. But I had I just I just kind of had this relationship with the Lord. That was unusual. And, um. yeah. So that’s kind of how I came to know him.
JANA HARMON: That’s powerful, I think. There. You’re putting your finger on something very, very important. And that is, there’s a difference between knowing about Jesus and believing things about him and knowing him. Uh, knowing him as a person, like you say, not as a philosophy, not as a belief or certain principles or do’s and don’ts or, you know, you know, rites or rituals, it’s actually knowing the person of Christ.
And you were actually given a gift, yeah. Like you say, great mercy with great mercy. He showed liquid love to you. And so it sounds like from that moment on, you were completely convinced that God was real, that you had encountered Christ, and that he was worth believing in as a person who had saved you and saw you and loved you in spite of what was happening in your own home, or, you know, your mother or father or whatever was going on there, that he completely turned you around and made you feel valued and loved and worth it. And you wanted to draw closer and closer. I would imagine that’s why you did so much Bible reading.
PAUL SNYDER: Yeah.
JANA HARMON: And to try to know him better. Again, yeah. Doctrine is good. Like you say, it’s good to know what is true. But it’s also good to know the person who is truth, right?
Why Scripture Matters
PAUL SNYDER: Well, the Bible is important in that it helps us know his voice. You know, like, because if it’s not lining up with Scripture, I’m sorry. There. You know, there are line signs and wonders there. There’s all kinds of stuff that can happen to lead you astray. It’s got to line up with scripture, you know? But, um, at the same time, a relationship with God, in my experience, is something where it’s a living, breathing communion.
Years later, I was reading the passage where Jesus says, you know, bless those who curse you and pray for those who despitefully use you. And it occurred to me one time like, oh my goodness, you literally practice what you preach because I was cursing you. I was literally cursing God. And you blessed me. And I mean, like, who is who is he?
Like, who does that? You know? Um, but he does. That’s who he is. And beyond that, he, um, he gets down into our suffering with us. And that’s what I’m what I’ve learned, you know, not just in my life, but in the ministry that I run.
If God Is Good, Why Is There Suffering?
Oftentimes we think, I think one of the biggest barriers to anyone, atheists included, is, well, if God is good, why do people suffer? You know, why is there suffering? And you know, I look at the book of Job, and I look at Job’s story, and I see here Job is and he’s suffering greatly. And you come to this point in the end where Job says, I’ve heard about you with the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you. Therefore, I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes. Now this is speculation on my part. I don’t know what Job, what Job saw when he said, now my eye sees you.
I have no idea. Maybe he had a liquid love experience like I did. Maybe I don’t know. I have no idea. I tend to think that he had some kind of an epiphany, uh, where he saw Christ crucified. Bible doesn’t say that. I don’t know, but I think that he, something happened to him, and I think that he then said, oh, okay, you’re the one suffering like, yes, I’m suffering, but it’s really the suffering of the slain lamb.
JANA HARMON: So, when you, you encountered this, uh, liquid love from God, and you knew he existed. He knew. You knew he was real. You’re suffering. You know, your circumstances didn’t change, but you changed, right? So, I’m, I’m wondering how just even as a child, you were able to move forward, just practically speaking.
Because it sounds like that your father obviously was a little bit of a curmudgeon, you know? Never. Nothing is ever good enough for him. You know, you had you had had a picture of God, but it was really countered through that experience. So, you were able to perhaps look at your father for who he was and his brokenness but still have this faith in a God who saw you, who loved you in spite of your familial circumstances, even perhaps the rejection of your mother.
But you were not rejected by God. You were seen. Yeah. And made whole by God. So, um, how did you manage to maintain this faith? Sometimes an encounter, uh, an encounter will sustain. And it sounds like for you, it caused you to really move towards God and, uh, because of this amazing experience that you had had. Sometimes experiences fade. Uh, for you, it sounds like you just dug in deeper and that your, your faith got stronger and more solid over time. Is that what happened?
Escaping Performance-Based Christianity
PAUL SNYDER: Yeah, it kind of is. What happened? I mean, so I did go through a period where people would tell me, oh, you know, this is kind of some teaching that was like, here’s how you get God to do this, and here’s how you get God to do that. And here, you know, all these things about here, you know, how to how to kind of please God and get God to do this and that.
The other thing is just like, okay, first of all, it kind of for, for a time, I kind of got removed from my place of just abiding in communion with the Lord, um, and trying to be a performance based Christian. Okay. Um, and the problem with that is we’re not blessed because in my opinion, okay, in my experience, we’re not blessed because of what we do. We’re blessed because of what he did. And our blessing is completely wrapped up in our abiding and nearness and closeness and proximity to him.
You know, what does it say? Is it first Corinthians, second Corinthians? He has become for us righteousness and peace and joy in all the stuff. It’s like. It’s not like separate from him. Like we don’t have everything we have is in him. It’s him. Uh, and so when you’re trying to. Okay, now I’m like, somehow God’s up here and I’m down here, and now I’m going to try and go live the Christian life. Unplugged from him doesn’t really work. Um, because he is the Christian life.
JANA HARMON: And it seems like to you, you grounded your theology or what you believe to be true. Um, more than just the experience that you really value the Bible, the scripture. You believed it to be true. Um. And obviously it is heart and mind and you’re living on more than just that experience. Right.
And the relationship?
PAULSNYDER: Oh, yeah.
JANA HARMON: I’m sure that atheist. I’m just thinking of those who are perhaps a little skeptical of experience or experiential knowledge, which in some ways can be the most profound kind of knowledge. Right? It obviously turns you in a moment, but they’re saying, well, what about and how do you know? And you know, all of those things that you want to ground that experience in reality and truth.
PAUL SNYDER: And that’s why I often that’s why I really don’t talk about this, because in some cases it’s like, look, my experience is my experience, you know, and the man with an experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument in my, you know, I mean, now we have to qualify that because, you know, you have people who have experiences that are like, okay, I’m not sure that was God, you know, but when you when you have an experience where God saving you from killing yourself and he’s basically showing you his love and it’s edifying, you know, these are things that line up with the Bible.
This lines up with Scripture, but I think the fruit, it’s really the fruit that we can kind of, uh, use to weigh, you know, what is a good experience, a true experience, and what is kind of maybe. And, you know, the thing about experience is that the devil does counterfeit just about everything God does. But just because there’s counterfeit out there, that’s actually really solid proof that there’s something legitimate and real, you know, like why, why are you going to counterfeit something that’s not real? He’s not. So, we kind of have to look at both sides of that coin.
JANA HARMON: It sounds like you were convinced, um, heart and mind and soul and spirit, and you just moved totally towards God. I’m curious what your parents thought of your profound change.
PAUL SNYDER: You know, um, I think that they saw it. I know they saw it. And I think that they, um, were actually astounded by it, And I think that they were, um, in many ways. I mean, my dad did come back to the Lord in his older years and, um, his relationship and my mom’s relationship was miraculously healed.
JANA HARMON: It is incredible that your father had smuggled Bibles into the iron or through the iron Curtain.
PAUL SNYDER: Behind the iron? Yeah.
JANA HARMON: Behind the iron curtain. That’s right. And now you are heading a ministry that helps to do that for the underground church. Um, even today. And that’s extraordinary.
Is God Supposed to Stop All Suffering?
PAUL SNYDER: I just think that that is that is a key element to my story and to pretty much everyone’s story is that if your hurdle is, well, how can a good God allow suffering? You’ve got to understand. Um, it’s not necessarily he’s not who you want him to be. You want him to be Superman. You want him to be someone who just comes in and rescues everyone and everything.
But again, as he says, as he said to Moses, “I Am who I Am” and anything else is a fabrication of God.
JANA HARMON: Yeah, yeah. We don’t want to create a God in our own image and likeness. Right. You’re getting into dangerous territory there. So, I, I’m thinking about people who are listening to Paul that say, I wish that I had that experience of liquid love, but I’ve called out for God and I haven’t experienced that. But here you are talking about the importance of a basically a personal relationship with Christ.
How can someone who doesn’t have that experience, the grace that you’ve been given their how can they get to know Christ in an intimate, relational way? Apart from that.
Do You Need a Dramatic Encounter with God?
PAUL SNYDER: You don’t have to have some big dramatic experience like I did. I mean, I think that I think God and God’s done stuff like that for me because I think that I needed it. I think I honestly, I, I’m so naturally a skeptical person, I really am. I’m suspicious of things. You know, I’m very skeptical of things. Um, I think God had to be like, this is how I’m going to have to show this kid who I am.
Um, but you don’t have to have that. Like you, some of my most amazing experiences with God have just been that in that still small voice time where it’s like, okay, God is clearly speaking to me. It’s nothing dramatic. It’s not even anything earthshaking or life altering. It’s just, hey, I want to show you this, some gold nuggets here in this verse that have to do with this situation you’re going through.
You know, and a lot of times this stuff will happen where it’s just, it’s undeniable that it’s him speaking, you know, because it’s specifically to do with something we’re going through or something we need an answer on, and he’ll just. It’ll just be impossible the way he’ll just make it clear. I mean, only that he does the impossible all the time. But you don’t have to have some big experience. You just have to have a heart that wants to know the truth. And he is truth.
And I would say, look, you can’t, you can’t get yourself clean enough, you can’t get yourself righteous enough or holy enough or anything enough just to come before him as you are. Lord, here I am. Please speak to me. Please show me who you are. And he and he might do it in some still small voice way. But if. But I think that he will do it. If you are really seeking truth and not and not saying God, I. I want to see you be this God. I want you to jump through these hoops and do these things. He’s the God of the universe, you know? I mean, he’s not your show dog. So.
JANA HARMON: No, that’s, that’s really wise there. If someone has been inspired by your story, obviously you’ve moved from a place of great skepticism and despair to a man who is
helping those who are in the most dangerous places to know the truth of Christ and to know the person of Christ. And, and, um, and they’re wondering how they can even take a step forward.
I know you talk about listening to God and praying to God and reading the word, and those are really wonderful things and knowing what is true. Do you have a good, maybe first step or suggestion for someone to move in the direction of God, maybe opening themselves up to the possibility of God?
Where Should a Skeptic Start?
PAUL SNYDER: You know, get a Bible if you don’t have one. Get a Bible. Open it up and start reading the Bible. I mean truly, just start reading the Bible and you don’t have to believe it. You don’t have to think it’s great, whatever. But just read. Start reading the Bible and you know, it’s because it is the map and he is the destination.
So, get out the map. That’s what I would say. Get the map out and open your heart to him and want to know the truth, not want to know whatever your idea of the truth is.
JANA HARMON: That’s very, very powerful. Any particular place in the Bible that you would point somebody to? Should they start at the beginning? Should they start in? What would you say to someone who’s.
PAUL SNYDER: You know, Psalms is a good place to start. Psalms is a great place to start. Uh, the book of John is a great place to start. Um, Genesis is not a bad place. I mean, yeah, I would say any of the Proverbs is a great place to start. I mean, there’s a lot of places that are really good. Ecclesiastes, song of Solomon. I mean, a lot of places.
JANA HARMON: Yes. Yeah. The Bible is so rich and so many different ways. And you also are a man of great faith and spreading the gospel around the world. And you know what it likes to feel, what it what it is like to feel like a skeptical person. You, you present yourself as perhaps still, you know, you just have a naturally skeptical mind. And we meet people like that, and they just can’t believe it. Or maybe they’re in a place of despair or or whatever.
How can we Christians help people understand that that Jesus is, is everything that the that he is where life is found, that he is the place. That’s joy and peace and everything that you’ve found that he is truth. How can we best engage with people who are skeptical?
How Christians Should Engage with Skeptics
PAUL SNYDER: You know, I think we can really just have compassion for them and show them empathy and love and kindness. I don’t think arguing usually does it. Because again, if you’re converting somebody to a philosophy, you’re not converting them to Christ.
Now there is a place for logical, apologetic, all of that. There’s a huge place for it. But there’s nothing quite like having an experience where Jesus reveals himself to you. And, you know, we see this in the nations that we work in, I think prayer and love and just, you know, showing people. And that’s what we do. Like, that’s what we do in these hard places. We, you know, when someone’s starving to death, it’s not going to work to go in there and just say, Jesus loves you. You got to show them that Jesus loves them by feeding them. So that’s. That’s kind of how you have to be, I think, as a Christian.
JANA HARMON: The hands and feet of Christ. Yeah.
PAUL SNYDER: And understand that it’s, you know, that it’s him in these cases. When I was hungry, you fed me. Understand that if we’re doing this to him, not only are we being him, but we’re doing it unto him. So.
JANA HARMON: What a great reminder, Paul. What an amazing story. I love the way that you really brought out the importance of really it is the, it is Jesus. Jesus is the center of the focus. Jesus is a man of sorrows, familiar with suffering. He is the suffering Savior, right? He is the one who suffered on our behalf, who understands our suffering.
Uh. And you, you have brought that so beautifully into focus in terms of just how he has suffered for us. He suffers with us and he will never leave us, and that his love prevails no matter what’s going on in our lives. That you’re this beautiful example of that, his love, really, not to be cliche but really can conquer all.
And that once we are living in Christ, no matter what our circumstances are, we can not only receive and stand in the love of Christ but actually offer the love to others who are suffering. So, thank you so much, Paul. I love your testimony, I love your story, and I love your boldness and your courage. And more than that, I think I love your heart for the world, especially the hard places.
Um, that you are. I know, uh, Global Bridges and the work that you’re doing there is really being the hands and feet of Christ and serving the hungry, not only physically, I’m sure, but with the love of Christ as well. I hope that those who are. Yeah, who are listening, who will, will go check out your ministry and your new book. Um, and we.
PAUL SNYDER: It’s Global Bridges Relief.org.
JANA HARMON: Okay. And we will put that in our show notes. Thank you, for anyone to find. So, thank you again, Paul.
Paul’s story reminds us that suffering doesn’t just raise questions about God. It often shapes the very picture of God we carry. For Paul, the God he rejected was not the God he ultimately encountered. Not a distant or indifferent God, but one who meets us in our pain, enters into our suffering, and who responds even to our most honest and broken questions with unexpected grace.
And perhaps that’s where this story meets you. If your experience has made it difficult to believe that God is good, if suffering has shaped your questions, or if you’ve wondered whether God is really there at all. Paul’s story is not an argument. It’s an invitation. It’s an invitation to bring those questions honestly before God.
Because sometimes it’s not polished belief that opens the door, but honest seeking. If this conversation has resonated with you, we’ve created curated playlists around questions just like this, including suffering, doubt, and the search for meaning. You can explore those on our YouTube channel or at eX-skeptic.org. And if you know someone who’s wrestling with these questions, consider sharing this episode with them. eX-skeptic is part of the C.S. Lewis Institute Podcast Network and is produced by Ashley Kelfer. Thanks again for listening to eX-skeptic.
